December 08, 2004
Get comfy!
hugh macleod mentions a book collaboration effort via blogging here and here. I'm intrigued with the idea of seeing the process of developing a book unfold on a blog so I hope this will pan out. The weird thing in reading the new url for the blog (http://spaces.msn.com/members/theredcouch/) is how I saw what I wanted to see. I read "there-d-couch" as some sort of slang for "come on in and make yourself comfy" or "sit a spell" - perhaps my natural southern hospitality showing through. Actually, Scoble says the name is "the red couch"
Q: What should the title of the book be?
A: For now, I'm going to call it "the red couch project." Cause I hate the names we came up with earlier this week. "Conversational Marketing" sounds lame. "Corporate Weblogging Manifesto" is just as lame, plus it sounds like we copied the idea from the Cluetrain guys. "Blogging in business?" Please.
Anyway, if Seth Godin can do a book called "the Purple Cow" we can do a book called "The Red Couch."
I think my interpretation still works.
Posted by Mary at 03:27 PM | Comments (0)
December 03, 2004
Gift Anxiety
Do you suffer from "gift anxiety?"
Last year about this time, I was talking to a friend about how stressful it is for me to receive gifts. I asked her if she experiences "gift anxiety." Until that moment, I had never heard of nor considered the phrase "gift anxiety"--it just rolled off my tongue. And as soon as it did, I realized how apt a phrase it is to describe what I feel about receiving gifts. To my surprise, Martha knew exactly what I meant. Amazing. We went on for several minutes, waxing poetic, about strategies we've employed to deal with this "gift anxiety." Strategies such as scouring the house looking for gifts before Christmas day so that we'd be prepared to feign an appropriate reaction, or thanking the recipient profusely for a lovely wrapped gift and saying that we'd put it under the tree--we couldn't possibly open a gift before Christmas Day, or protesting at the suggestion that someone should want to give us a gift.
I think I can trace my "gift anxiety" back to early childhood days when my reaction to gifts wasn't what the gift-giver was looking for. Wanting to please others, I had to develop a way of giving the gift-giver what she wanted. And in so doing, I buried part of myself. And developed a severe case of gift anxiety. Which now I can laugh about. As I open gifts. In front of the gift giver. With sweat beads on my upper lip.
Posted by Kerry at 09:28 PM | Comments (0)
December 02, 2004
Shout out to Jump'n Java
I have been going to Jump'n Java Cafe lately due to its close proximity to Raleigh, Durham, and Research Triangle Park, here in North Carolina. I live in Raleigh but am often in need of a good in-between place to meet with colleagues and clients. What keeps me going back to Jump'n Java is above and beyond a convenient location.
They have great coffee, and the other beverages that I haven't yet sampled sound good too. They have fresh focaccia bread with a tasty choice of sandwich options. They even have free wifi - so if I get there early I can catch up on my laptop.
But most of all they have a great sense of service as exhibited by owner Kimberly McGowan. She's always been friendly but I didn't know her name and she didn't know mine. Yesterday she was in the right place at the right time.
I've held meetings with different people at the cafe several times in the last few weeks, but had not taken note of the operating hours. This time I had arranged to meet a group of independent business owners for a management roundtable at 4 p.m.. I got there at 3:58 and found a distinct lack of cars in the shopping center's parking lot. It was then that I found out that the cafe closes at 3:30. The shopping center is predominantly populated by restaurants , but I had never caught on to the fact that most of the activity there happens around the breakfast/lunch hours. As the group gathered, my convenient meeting place was looking like a bust, and we began trying to figure out where we could reconvene close by. Kimberly noticed us in the parking lot, and invited us to come on in even though she was "officially" closed. We didn't have to relocate and we had the place to ourselves! She graciously welcomed us in, took our drink orders, and we got down to work. Jim quite wisely recognized that Kimberly might be interested in our discussion as yet another independent business owner, and invited her to join us. So now we have a new friend, possibly an expanded group, and we still have a convenient place to meet.
Thanks Kimberly! Y'all stop in and see her!
Posted by Mary at 11:39 AM | Comments (0)
influence vs. manipulation
I've heard people say that they want "dialog" or "conversation" so that they can "understand" other points of view. Once in a while I ask someone who wants to understand, "What will that understanding do for you?" Sometimes the answer is, "it will help me influence." When I hear this answer, I think, "Oh, so you don't want really want to understand, you want to to manipulate in a kinder, gentler way." I wonder whether I'm being unfair in my judgment.
Think about the word "influence" as a noun vs. a verb--"I have influence" vs. "I influence." Or about the passive verb vs. active verb: "People are influenced" by me vs. "I influence people."
I like to think of influence as a noun or when used in the passive construct. People might be influenced by me because of what I do, how I relate to them. The influence is a by-product of me being me.
I don't like the ramifications of "to influence" as an active verb. "I influence" or "I want to influence" sounds like I have an agenda to push, and I've already decided that my agenda is better than yours, or more important than yours. Not cluing you in to the fact that I want to bring you around to my way of thinking is manipulation--even if I'm doing it because I think I'm right; and especially if I'm doing it because I know I'm right.
Posted by Kerry at 10:26 AM | Comments (0)